I heart JM

So I had my little taste of home the other night at the Mum Smokes gig. Although I was always bound to say that it was a great set (I may still have a teeny tiny crush on Jon Michell, the lead guitarist and vocalist which has reared its ugly head once more seeing as he asked me out. tee hee) I have to say it wasn't their best show. Still good but I guess it just lacked the energy that is always present at their home shows because they never seem like shows, they're like parties. Everyone knows each other and theirs always a bit of banter with the crowd (usually it comes in the form of Justin. He loves a bit of a taunting. Incidentally, he was the one at the Ariel Pink show yelling 'Play some Red Hot Chili Peppers!') The set was a mix of old favorites (they played both Simple Life and Gardening Plans, two of my all time favorites) and newbies (one in particular that had Karl and Justin on vocals. Hmm, the jury's still out on this one) A bit of unrequited feedback showed up and the sound at the George isn't the greatest but truthfully, the show could have been the biggest piece of shite and I wouldn't have cared, I was just happy to see some peeps from home.

HTRK however had the crowd hypnotised. Well at least the males in the crowd were. Their music is the stuff you want to listen to at ear shatteringly loud volume while having sex in a stiflingly hot pitch black room (or maybe thats just me) I don't know why I'm so resistant to like HTRK and I think it just boils down to jealousy to be honest. Jonnine has this unbelievably powerful sexual hypnosis over the crowd. At one point I turned around and the guys looked like a bunch of zombies. What I hate is that she knows it and really plays up on it whilst remaining completely free from humour and any glimpse of self deprecation. Again, is this just my own jealousies and insecurities that are the problem? HTRK are not too dissimilar to my band. We both have these bass-y tribal beats and try to steer clear of the verse chorus verse chorus song format. The biggest difference is that they got to do it first. They even got to move to Berlin first so needless to say their egos are out of control at the moment. When we finally make the move to Berlin though can you just imagine the monster I'm going to become?......

lord of the geeks

The Lord of the Rings stage production is mere weeks away from opening on the West End.

Do I....

a) Make fun of the people who will buy tickets and severly mock the nerds I know that will get dressed up Aragorn style for opening night

b) Don my best disguise, buy tickets and sit in the cover of darkness up the back hiding my love for LOTR

c) Admit to desperately wanting to see the it. Theres nothing wrong with being heavily into sci fi

d) Stop being such a geek

this that and the other

Just a reminder that the Mum Smokes gig is on tomorrow night at the George Tavern (Off Brick Lane) HTRK (Hate Rock Trio) are playing too. There will be a few Melbourne gig regulars there that I haven't seen in nearly a year so it should be good craic.

I finished my English teaching course last week (heaven help the engrish speakers I'll be teaching)and have just applied to teach English at this summer camp in Florence for a month. Can I not decide where I'm bloody going?!?

Just bought tickets to see hip hop/ noise freakery band the blood brothers (evol if you're not already a fan, you should be) Now the torturous wait until the gig in July.....

I'm finally going to get my ass to dover st market tomorrow. I can already feel my pants being soiled at the thought of all that good design under one roof.

Okay the weather is too lovely to be cooped up in this internet cafe. Toodles xx

friends album reviewed by other music.. sweeeeeet

LOVE OF DIAGRAMS Mosaic(Matador) "Form and Function" "What Was I Supposed to Do?"Make room for this Australian post-punk trio, who play darkly wound-up, incredibly tight rock with icy veins and cold hearts. The band's precise, architectural approach is steeped in early '90s noise pop (think Bailter Space or Arcwelder), a stern Factory vibe, and the chilly, glamorous allure of Siouxsie Sioux or Bauhaus. A lot of people have been waiting for a band this good in the genre, one that stayed truest to its roots but was able to offer up a modern-day version that could stand on its own. Crazy catchy hooks, propulsive bass and drums, and jagged guitars almost push this thing in the direction of Mission of Burma or Unwound at times, but the band retains a cool distance from any modern signifiers. Quite a surprise, and a stunning debut all in all. [DM]

Tales from the arctic circle.....

Long time no write my dears. The last couple have weeks have been pretty busy and theres so much to tell you all so lets get down to business

• Iceland was effing brilliant. Not only is it an amazingly varied landscape (the whole island is pretty much built on volcanoes, so rocky roads ahoy) with all the volcanoes, geysirs and hot springs (oh my!) but true to popular belief Icelandic kids are truly the coolest on the planet. I spent my days visiting geothermal spas (being snowed on whilst in 25 degree opaque turquoise water is an odd feeling) trying desperately not to put my hand in one of the geysirs to see what they classed as 'boiling hot', doing a few small hikes, seeing the amazing Northern Lights (no where near as bright as you expect but they danced across the sky beautifully none the less. Photos were pretty much impossible as you would expect but I took some Holga as well so fingers crossed) witnessing the sheer power of some intense recently thawed waterfalls and doing some serious shopping, or well, on my budget, window drooling. For an island that has a population of no more the 375 000, they have a fantastic collection of designers. They even have a Trippen store there. We don't even have one in friggin London! A great selection of second hand stores too where I did make the odd purchase. Its definitely going on the list of top 5 favorite places I've been.
  

• On to one of the best moments of my life, seeing Björk. Although there was a bit of a mishap and I nearly didn't. Note to self: going away over a series of public holidays when you need to pick something up from an office is not a great idea. I was supposed to pick up the tickets for Monday nights gig and the offices were closed Saturday, Sunday AND Monday which led me into a massive panic Monday afternoon when I thought I may not get in. Lucky they had set up a makeshift collection booth outside the venue (the biggest arena Reykjavik has to offer. It was needed) and I got the tickets. Björk had a few special guests up her oversized sleeves (outfit of choice for the evening was a gold imitation frill neck lizard number. It was all very 'Pricilla') and onto the stage piled the 'Björkettes' a neon clad all female horn section and the lads from Hot Chip to handle the beats. The moment I had been waiting years for had arrived. Björk burst onto the stage and broke into 'Hunter' a huge favorite of mine. For such a small package she has huge energy and stage presence although I was a little suprised at how reserved the crowd was. It was her first gig in six years in front of her home crowd and I thought they would be going nuts but it was pretty much just left to me and another solo dancer in the crowd. She then did a few tracks off Volta which were FAN FUCKING TASTIC (I cannot wait for that release date) and then had Antony (of 'the Johnsons' fame) come and join her for Dull Flames of Desire which had me weak at the knees. Other favorites that got an outing and a new arrangement were All is Full of Love, Oceania, Pleasure is all Mine, Army of Me, Hyper-ballad (which got a huge reworking and smack bang in the middle she decided it was time for a bit of a boogie so had the lads put on some pretty heavy dance beats and just danced like a maniac for 5 minutes before realising that she was still playing a gig and that she wasn't doing that alone, although you get the feeling that she really is in a world of her own most of the time and does this for her own enjoyment as apposed to doing it for us) The only real disappointment was that she didn't do a single song from Debut and only a single song encore. Oh and that there wasn't any merch. I'd planned to buy up any morsel I could to keep this memory alive in my mind for as long as I could and all that was on offer was a back catalogue which I already own. Before I knew it it was all over too soon and all I had to mark the occasion was the bill poster I nicked off a wall.

And now here I am in London again with the post holiday blues but with the whiff of Summer travel in the air (I'm thinking hold on Sicilian men, I'm a comin'!) it doesn't seem so bad. If you need visuals of the adventures above, then look at this....

happy chocolate covered holidays

the bestest present ever

So I did it. I finally booked my ticket to Iceland. I'm going for a week (in a week) and I can't wait but you know what sealed the deal? Bjork is playing her first gig in six years in Reykjavik on Monday week and I'm going to be there. I'm. Going. To. See. Bjork. I'm so excited I think I wet my pants a little when I booked the tickets. This time next week I'll be cozying up to some Icelandic cutie waiting for one of my all time top five female idols to blow me away.

going on a banksy hunt

So the last week I have been hitting the galleries pretty hard. There are heaps of exhibitions on as per usual and I've seen some inspiring work.
I caught Damien Hirst's latest show 'New Religion' which was shown in a church. I've always loved his work and his latest exhibition was no exception. It showed how society has transferred its faith in, well, faith to science, all of which I completely agree with.

I checked out a punk fly poster exhibition. These things are never a good idea for me. I always end up moping about awesome shows I've missed. Apparently I missed ESG last year dang nabbit.

The Harry Thubron show which was full of over priced mediocre collages. Doing this type of paper work is fine and yes, some pieces were beautiful but they were fairly bland tonal pieces which didn't warrant the £3000 price tag. I've seen some of his work in the Tate and have tried so hard to like him but to no avail. Speaking of all things pricey, I also caught the Banksy exhibition. I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I love graffiti artists (fyi Twist is my favorite graf artist of all time) and am happy to see them recognised on a grander scale but Oh. My. God. I don't think I've ever seen a stenciled canvas be sold for just under $200 000AUS (apparently he sold a piece for £200 000 in December which is around $500 000AUS) Not to judge but the guy who bought it certainly didn't seem like the type to appreciate it for what it was, rather he wanted to have it to say that he owned a 'Banksy' (which is painfully uber cool with the Sienna Miller types in this town) Who knows, I could be completely jealous and wrong but I sort of think that Banksy sells them at those crazily inflated prices as a bit of a joke on the rich saps that can afford to buy a stencil for such a price. It reminded me of an incident I witnessed before I left Oz when I went to see The Stooges. I was watching as Jim (I refuse to call him Iggy) paraded around the stage like a cock in front of all his hens, knowing that he could fuck as many of them as he wanted and have them do as he pleased. Mid set as if to prove his point, had all the young hapless fools singing 'Now I wanna be your dog' 'with' him. Proving indeed that the masses were in his control. Sort of like Banksy. Since being here I've been on a mission to find my favorite Banksy stencils. There are 114 known pieces in the city (of course the annoying thing is that like any graf art, they get removed pretty soon after they have been put up) and yesterday I found one of my favs on the streets of London for everyone to view. That same stencil was in the gallery for sale for a mere $100 000AUS (not that I would complain if anyone bought 'Gangsta Rat ' for me) Do these rich socialites not realise that THEY are the punch line here?

oh and by the way, does anyone know where the 'maid' stencil is at the moment? I've tried 3 trails for it in Shoreditch and Waterloo that all ended up cold. I heard rumours of it in Camden....
There are a few Banksy rat shots up on my flickr

have a little patience

I'm fulfilling my duties as an ex-pat backpacker and becoming an English teacher in a few weeks. I got sent some pre course assignment work and have to find the past perfect continous tense in this sentence

"When Gary Barlow left Take That he didn't know that Robbie Williams had been planning a solo career for months as well"

illuminating coldcuts

Tuesday night Leanne and I went to see Coldcut. The 'gig' got some bad reviews but I kind of enjoyed it. Although the crowd was always going to be hard to please. When you get a bunch of electronica kids with sci fi geeks and 'artiste' types in the one room, you can't please 'em all. First off let me say it was much more subdued than I expected. I knew it was going to be an electronica tribute to Robert Anton Wilson's 'Illuminatus' but I still thought it could have been kicked up a notch. The couple in front of me fell asleep (well, the girlfriend fell asleep. The boyfriend kept giving Alan Moore metal horns everytime he came to speak. I love Alan Moore and I'm a million shades of geek but that was too much, even for me)

Visually I love Coldcut. They always have a really interesting blend of graphics and use techniques that surprise the viewer and keep you waiting with baited breathe to see what they will use next. They had segmented the show into 4 parts and often layered Wilson being interviewed over the stream of consciousness and his theories.

Being honest I have to say that Ken Campbell was a disappointing speaker. Being THE guy who turned Illuminatus into a stage production I thought he would have had some great tales to tell over the mellowed beats playing in the background, but alas no. I would rather have listened to my mother regale me with tales of her latest adventures in the local gardening store.

Alan Moore on the otherhand was brilliant. He first read from Masks of the Illuminati (the 'tripping' passages) and then read a poem that he had written for the night. He was so captivating he could have been sitting there telling us about his last excursion to the crapper but because he did it with such enthusiasm I would have been taking notes and blogged about his bowel movements. Maybe Alan did deserve the metal horns afterall.

please welcome to the stage 'insert name here'

So I have been talking to the band back home (i.e Sarah) and there may be a 'Changeling' reunion. Sarah is thinking about coming over and joining me and we have decided that our band name needs revamping. Apparently there has been lots of disbandings and regroupings since I have been gone. The Young Professionals are no more, however out of those ashes Spider Vomit has risen as well as The Beaches. Mum Smokes, as I've previously mentioned are together once more and are touring here in a month (coincidentally with Ian and 'Hate Rock Trio' whom I'm not the biggest fan of. Mostly because they have a similar sound to us and they got to move to Berlin first, dang nabbit)

We have decided we need a name that packs more of a punch, something people will remember. Here is a list of my top 5 new band names.

1. Kill Your Boyfriend (this is a fav of Sarah's although I think it makes us sound a little riot grrrl)

2. Well He's a Dickhead (one of mine. I think we may have some man issues that we need to deal with)

3.Psychatric Explorations of the Feutus with Needles (in honour of the Flaming Lips)

4. Machetti Killed the Radio Star
5. Something More Violent (I think this is my fav. It gets straight to the point!)

help tha police

start spreadin' the news.....

So a week into my shiate job and I packed it in. Refusing to be treated like a peasant for peanuts, I told my boss that I had a better job offer and was moving on. Needless to say the tight arse queen of darkness was less than pleased but I realised that it was unlikely that the situation would improve and I would end up even more unhappy than before I started there. I spoke to the parental units (who normally are not big on dishing out the useful pearls of wisdom) and they reminded me of something I had completely forgot.

I had planned to move to New York if it didn't work out here. And from where I'm standing the English cosmos are politely giving me the finger and telling me to bugger off elsewhere. So I am. Or so I hope anyway.... I'm in the process of applying for the visa lottery and am schmoozing up to the old designers who had once made a promise to me before I left that if I did go to the big apple, then they would hire me for the NY store and let me stay in their apartment until I found my own place.

I've decided to leave it up to fate and if I'm supposed to be in NY then I'll get my visa no probs and if not, well then I'll just stick to the bar jobs (its taken me a long time to realise that I'm only in my mid 20's and its ok to take a couple years out of my career life to work in bar jobs and enjoy myself) spend every last penny travelling and finally make my way home.

mysterious trains and design nazis

So, I had my first week at work........ and I've made a HUGE mistake. I had a choice between a job that paid much higher (as in close to $30 000AUS more) and this job (in where I have to get a bar job as well because I can't actually afford to eat more than 1 meal a day, let alone actually go out anywhere) The higher paying job was still in retail and I was desperate to try and break out of it. This new job with the design studio seemed perfect. Yes a big part of it was studio manager admin but it meant that I got to still be in a creative environment whilst I was deciding what I was doing with myself here. Okay to be truthful another lure to this job was that my boss said she wanted to sponsor me (which will be impossible to get if I was working in retail) and if I ever want to live out my dream of opening that gallery/store in Berlin, it would be a whole lot easier (and not involve a wedding) if I had a British passport, which I could of course get in 4 years if I got sponsorship. So I took the pay cut. I thought I was taking the high road and doing the right thing. Sacrificing money for the greater career good. I had a window out of the retail world I loathe so much. My new boss lured me in with promises of pay reviews in a few months and possible trips to Nigeria with her and I fell for it. She said that she ran her company to nuture new designers fresh from college and help them get the real world experience that they needed. It sounded so great.

And then I actually started there.

I have been completely thrown in the deep end. Thrown into the middle of a pool of snide graphic designing sharks. It'll be ok, I thought. Its just because you don't know any of the clients and you actually have no idea as to what you are supposed to do because its a small company and you are the only secretary/p.a/studio manager/researcher. As soon as someone starts explaining what you need to be doing on a daily basis, you will be fine. You work loooong hours (no overtime OR time in lieu) but you will be getting a pay review in a few months right? Looks like I was wrong about that too. I am also in charge of the wages and I'm getting paid the same as the newest designer who has been there 8 months. The designer who has been there the longest is only getting paid £4000 more than I am. Turns out this tight arse likes to see herself as the nurturer for young designers and then sends them on their merry way after 2 years because she like to keep the wages as low as humanely possible. The other girls are only surviving because they either live at home or with their partners who help support them. What do I do? This will more than likely be my only possible chance of sponsorship and if I give up on it, well then that means that I have no choice but to come 'home' in a year, if not sooner. Plus unless I find someone from the EU to marry me, I can say goodbye to opening the store in Berlin. On the other hand, I can't live like this. I'm about to start work in a pub as well on the weekends because I have to plus I'm moving to a cheaper shittier sharehouse in a few weeks. I'll end up really hating London if I stay in this job but I'll be losing so much if I let it go. I feel so overwhelmed and I don't know what to do......

On a completely different note, I saw these two this morning wandering around the back streets of East Londn near my place looking so adorable and lost they completely reminded me of the cute Japanese couple in Mystery Train by Jim Jarmusch

Are you going to finish that?

So after the excitement of getting this job I decided to take myself out to lunch. Something I haven't done once since being here. Off to Chinatown I hopped to fulfil a dim sum desire that had been brewing for sometime. I bought a magazine (also something I haven't done in a long time) and went to this new place that looked ok. I ordered 3 of my favourite things and waited. And waited. And waited some more. When food finally arrived at my table it looked suspiciously unlike what I ordered but I thought maybe they do things differently here. I put chopstick to roll and then to mouth and took a bite. I knew straight away this wasn't mine so I put it back on the plate and flagged over the waiter to tell him. He then realised he had given me the food meant for the woman sitting behind me. Okay slight mix up thats fine. What happened next still has me dry heaving. He said to her (its was all in Mandarin so don't expect a fabulous translation from me) that these dishes were meant for her, oops, sorry. He put one untouched dish down and then put down the dish with the ROLL WITH THE BITE TAKEN OUT OF IT. I was frozen and wanted to turn around to see if maybe he had just put it down for a second whle he was talking. Yes, surely thats what he's doing. No one in their right mind would accept food that has been partially eaten. And its not like it wasn't clear that a bite had been taken out of it. It was a roll for fucks sake that came up short compared to the other 2 on the plate. What is it, the runt of the roll litter? Okay, so maybe he said to her she could have it for free or something because of the mix up. I bided my time until she went to the bathroom to turn around to see my half eaten foodstuff sitting on a plate. Gone. Lets get this straight, she not only accepted food that had been eaten but then ate the remains. I mean for fecks sake, who knows where the hell my mouth has been? Why would you do that? SHE ATE THE FUCKING ROLL I HAD MY MOUTH ON. Is this just me or is this completely insane? I then went to a guitar exhibition that was amazing I think. I don't really remember. I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was that roll and it was all I could do from not vomiting all over the first electric guitar ever made.

what a way to make a living

So after a month and a half of living the unemployed life, I am once again workin' for the man (or woman in this case) I've picked up a job with a graphic design studio as their studio manager/researcher (i.e I have to do everything the designers don't) It seems like a great company however I fear that I am in a little over my head. Not that I lied during the interview but I may have made myself sound a little more level headed and organised than I really am. I'm hoping that out of desperation for this job a miracle will occur and I will magically be much more organised than I used to be. Who knows, stranger things have happened.
I'm just really relieved to not have a job in retail to tell you the truth. I had an interview as a store manager the other day and I actually started having heart palpitations when she started bulldozing me with questions on my managment style and how I was going to improve sales for the company and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (I kind of faded out after a while) I realised that I'm not cut out for the commercial money hungry world of retail management. Dinosaur was definitely an exception to the rule. They were never like that so in turn my management style is not made for the main stream market. I'm happy to be someones (4 someones in fact) research monkey until I decide what I'm going to do next. They have even discussed sponsorship already and are keen to do it so it looks like I really can stay here indefinitely.

I've wasted so much of my life watching movies

When I could have just been watching the 30 second bunny version. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Brokeback Mountain and Reservoir Dogs are my favs.

what do fat house monsters, absurd bling and snow all have in common?

Alas no, its not a write up of Kate Moss' latest birthday celebrations, its my latest blog. So it snowed here yesterday. A proper snow that London hasn't had in years. I was so excited I ran outside in my Pj's to frollick and take snap shots like this

I then realised that I need to get a wriggle on with this exhibition that I'm submitting work to. I'm having the slight problem though of writing my 'Artist Rationale' Everything I write sounds so wanky and although I'm sure that almost everyones will, I was hoping to not go down that path. Plus I still haven't actually decided what piece I'm sending...

To take my mind off it all, a cat friend of mine, Chicken aka Maggie Smith aka Her Royal Highness Princess Chickalot, has recently set up a myspace. Check it out here. Its a hoot

Meow xxx

blow blow blow blow blow your fuse

I just heard that Bjork is going to be headlining the Glastonbury Festival this year. Sarah, if this isn't reason enough for you to get your feckin' arse on a plane.... well I give up.

Fuck, I think I'm actaully having heart palpitations over this. Forget my whinging pity party, if this is the only reason that I am supposed to be in London, it has all been worthwhile.

Oh My.....

emptying my blog bowels

So its been a while since I've blogged. I thought I had nothing to say. Turns out I was just being lazy and now have the blog runs and feel the need to empty my mental bowels onto my beloved readers (evol, it pretty much just you)
So heres the update on the last few weeks.....

• I'm still jobless. Turns out I have to pretty much start my career from scratch again, as no one cares about you unless you have UK experience. Its so much harder here than I thought it was going to be. Most of the people I know here (all 10 of them) have gone on holidays and my flatmates aren't exactly the 'hey lets have a beer' type so its been kinda lonely. I miss having a routine. I know I can be a bit of a workaholic and I needed a break before I just plain old brokedown but its just getting ridiculous now. I'm not ready to go back to Oz so each day I've been playing out the 'where am I going to move to?' fantasy. I thought about going back to Barca but a lot of my friends there are moving on so I would probably be lonely there too. NY is still there but what if its harder than here, then chances are I would definitely have to go home. I've actualy been thinking about moving to Tokyo. I love it there and I've planned on doing the course so I can teach English anywhere, so why not?

• On a happier note I saw a great exhibition the other week by this group called DA! (direct action) They take over squats (until they get kicked out. They went to court last week for the last place they wre in) and turn them into art/music spaces for up and coming artists who don't have much money but want to exhibit work. It was really inspiring and they seem to have a 'the more the merrier' attitude so I am going to try and get some work in the next squat. I am also getting some pieces together for a show back home in Qld. Its nice to be doing something creative again. I've also been eyeing off yet another guitar.... I know where my first pay cheque is going....

• Some good gigs are coming up but I really can't wait for the 'All Tomorrow's Parties' festival. This year looks to be freaking awesome, especially because 'Mum Smokes' (on my list of top 5 friend's band that are brilliant) will be coming over from Melbourne to play. Woo Hoo!!!

• Hi God People (another one of the top 5 friends bands) borrowed some of my instruments for a performance back home. I've never been given the privilege to perform with them but now my instruments have. I'm getting closer, surely....

• It actually snowed here the other day and I got to throw a snow ball at some kid. There's a school right behind my flat and it was during school lunch time so there were plenty of other misfits to blame it on. The perfect crime. brwwaaaa hahahahahahaha

I've really got to get a job

and stop fluffing about or I will spend my entire time here posting things like this.

Cor Blimey Gov'ner

Well, after 8 months 'on the road' I have finally settled down. I got an apartment (well, a room in a share house) in a nice part of East London. Its actually pretty nice and has a killer view of the city (15 minutes walk to the best local designers markets in London!) and I move in tomorrow.
Flatmates are a bit weird (think kooky Polish girl with cockney accent) but I'm sure it will be fine.

I'm pretty excited although there is still a part of me that wonders if not going to New York was the right decision. If it all goes to shit here I can go in a few months anyway. I guess I just wanted to give here a try and see what there was for me.

So the next thing for me to do is get that fabulous job that I know is waiting for me (Yohji, Issey, Vivienne, I'm a comin'!) I am also going to try and do a bit of writing. Ressurect that old opportunity with Plan B Magazine.....

and so this is christmas?

Righto, Christmas blog time. Made it back to merry old London town with only a slight hiccup of crazy bomb scare at Paris airport. Kind of scary. I got to the airport and there were thousands of people outside and I thought to myself "Man, I knew it was going to be busy but this is crazy!"
I pushed my way to the front of the doors to finally realise that there was no one inside and that some army Frenchie was yelling at me to get back. My stupidity sometimes never ceases to amaze me.
So I found somewhere far back to wait (and duck and cover if the need be) and smoke the dregs of my rollies while I waited for the all clear.......
..... hours later we finally got the all clear and the rush into the airport was like the running of the bulls. Fuck women and children first, it was every man for themselves.
I managed to only get here a few hours off schedule and luckily catch the last of the public transport options (for some idiotic reason, public transport DOESN'T operate on Christmas day. Oh the joy I have of an hour and a half walk to the restaurant today. Not to mention the hour and a half back after getting 'festive')

Back to all things joyful. Hope you are all having a merry one and are getting drunk and telling the family what you really think of them. Christmas just isn't christmas without one druken slag off.

Quick, call the style brigade!

So here I am, my first full day in gay Paree. I palmed off a small French town to come here a few days early. I just couldn't wait. Its Paris, you know? I got all frocked up (as frocked up as you can from a backpack of the same clothes you have been wearing for the last 8 months) and then realised that I didn't actually know where the fabulous people and their haunts were. I then remembered a web site I used to check out before I went anywhere. Superfuture to the rescue. It always had a good listing of uber cool stores, galleries, bars, books and record stores and of course all the fabulous clothes stores that Paris is so famous for. It was a goldmine for my trip to Tokyo (Ingars, you should totally check it out before you go to L.A. Its bound to have a few good things on there)
Jackpot.
I now hold the address of, to name but a few, the Martin Margiela, Helmut Lang, Comme de Garçons and Chanel stores (I'm not particularly a Chanel fan, but, when in Paris...) plus a few cool sounding galleries and bars. No more time to blog. I'm in Gay Paree and I'm letting myself have ONE credit card splurge.
Au revoir mon cheri's!

Burrrr

I'm in Lyon and its 2°C. I'm supposed to be going out tonight to see Four Tet play. I ain't goin' anywhere. In my mind, I'm here.

Strangers with Candy

I'm hanging around Barca for a few more hours until my bus to Lyon tonight catching up on emails and blogs plus watching some of my favourite scenes from Strangers with Candy (the series, not the movie) For those of you unaware SWC is an absolutely hysterical show from 1999 based around Jerri, a 46 year old high school drop out going back to school and going through the 'normal' problems that any teenager would. Its so wrong its hysterical. I can't pick one episode to post so here are my all time top 5 quotes from the show.

5. (Poppy applying homemade glint of Jerri's on her lips)
Poppy - My lips feels numb
Jerri - Yeah its gonna numb it. Actually its gonna numb where ever you apply it which can
be a godsend. I used to apply it liberally when I did this donkey show it Tijuana....

4. The Downs lost a child and I lost a turtle. Which is the greater loss? I don't know

3. I gotta get laid. My bacon strips are sizzlin'

2. Befriending new people can lead to having sex with your children..... accidentally

1. Stoney and I would go over to Buckles and Puff would turn us on to a hot load of mescaline crumbled into a tumbler of eather with a float of a Perocet jimmies. I'd wake up with blood on my ass, then we got high. Those were some good times!

wah

So I've made one more stop before I make it back to Barça (and then move on again to France) I've stopped in Granada in the South of Spain especially go to Alhambra. A stunning Moorish Castle that I have always meant to come to and have had numerous people tell me to. I walked all the way to the top of the castle to find that you have to PRE BOOK friggin' entry tickets.... and of course they are booked out til Monday..... and of course I have my flight back home tomorrow. DANG NABBIT! I'm so cranky that I made a trip here especially for this and I can't even go. Grrrr. I'm supposed to be in a good mood. Its a 5 day public holiday here (well, technically 3 but then if you add the weekend, its 5) and I was really looking forward to wrapping up the Spain/Morocco travels with this.

Okay no point in being all grouchy. If I just watch that Indian parody of 'Dance with Me' one more time, I'm sure I'll be fine. Man, that clip cracks me up!

If you're nerdy and you know it

5 camels and a sack of cous cous. Thats my highest offer!

So I have finally made the trek across the waters to African shores and am kickin' back Moroccan style. Drinking copious amounts of mint tea, watching the snake charmers (from a painfully safe distance) and just generally feeling like an extra on a Monty Python spoof of Ali Baba and the 40 thieves. Its all a bit ridiculous really, how many cliches about this place are true. Especially the attention foreign women receive. I can't go ten paces without something being said, an offer being made for me to join their harem or just general leering and whistling. Its all pretty harmless..... I think.

That being said, if you don't hear from me for a while and someone shows up on my parents doorstep offering them 5 camels and a sack of cous cous for my hand in marriage,
SEND HELP!!!!

Portugalo es da puta madre (portugal is the shiate in espanol)

I was just in the Fabrica store in Lisbon and what did I come across? A Minimum Chips Album! I can't believe I am half way across the world and in THE coolest store in Lisbon and I find an album of people I know. Go Min Chips!

I also bought a friggin awesome compilation of underground Portuguese noise which I will write about next blog.

Verdict: Portugal Rocks!!!!!

sleeping with the light on

So yesterday I went to one of the best galleries in Madrid, the Prado, to see one of the best collections of European art (circa 13th Century - 20th Century) and amidst the 50 odd rooms (yes 50) 7 of them were dedicated to Goya. One of Spain's most influencial painters and certainly a favourite of mine. His work is so varied from his stylised almost cartoonish paintings of Christ to the complete dark side which had me screaming with fear.

'Saturno' (above) is one of my favourites and one of his most well known. It is based on the story of the mythologial Saturn, devouring his son in a fit of jealousy and rage.

I've also gotten to see Peter Paul Rubens' version of this as well and although this one is highly critisised in comparision to that one, I prefer Goya's version.

I love how he has broken Saturn down to a simple demonic creature possesed by his own insecurities, how he has physically deteriorated and how it looks as though he is about to be devoured by darkness himself in a matter of seconds.

Plus this painting scares the be-jebus out of me. I love it when that happens

Leavin' on a jet plane (or smelly train more like it)

Okay so I've been a bit too busy and have been slacking off with blog posts. There is much loco-ness is my life. I'm gettin outta this town and making my way to the African shores of Morocco in a week and there is much to organise. I'm really excited about going to Portugal and Morocco (and spending Xmas in Gay Paree!) but I'm also really sad to leave here. Its become home so quickly and I could definitely see myself coming back for a longer period.

So with that being said, here are my top 5 things that I am going to miss about Barça:

5. Tortilla patata bocadillos - its one mean baguette that I know I will never find anywhere else thats just as good

4. The exceptance of openly gay couples - although not gay myself (my parents seem to think otherwise) I love how open and accepting everyone is about there sexuality. Its so interesting because its such a heavily religous country but they have no qualms about any of your sexual perversions. Anything goes here and its really liberating.

3. My insane share house - I know that I bitch and moan about living with 10 other people but in the last month everyone has really opened up and its become a really fun place to live. Its literally my version of The Spanish Apartment.

2. The Men - Okay thats probably sounds more promiscuous than I meant it to but, oh my, there are some painfully attractive men here. Lots from Italy, Germany, Spain of course and because of the openess of the town, they are up for anything. Anytime.

1. The Partying - Catalunians are up for a party at anytime of the day or night. There's a public holiday every month and at the mere mention of throwing a party, they are the first ones up for it. I've adjusted all too well to this late night action (there's another joke about my promiscuity right there kids!) The eating dinner at 11pm, drinks at 1am and then off to a band at 3 or 4am. Lord only knows how I will adjust back into how the rest of the world operates!

lazin on a sunny crafternoon

So although the sun is still shining gloriously in Barça during the day, the evenings have been getting somewhat nipply and I have decided that it's time to knit myself another scarf to keep away the chills. Problem being that they aren't really that big on knitting here and that there were some issues finding a crafty store. I ended up in a euro version of price attack that had a few bundles of wool that didn't look like regurgitated 'coogie' wool so I snaffled them up only to realise that there were no knitting needles to be found.
Not to worry, the inner Tonya Todmann in me came to the rescue and I have found that I can make myself a lovely little scarf using 2 pastry brushes that I have sharpened into stakes (also handy for those uncomfortable situations with vampires)
I'm just two pipe cleaners and a bog roll away from pure Tonya genius.

I went to Barçelona and all I got was this lousy picture with Jesus

There is one thing about this town that really stands out. Street performers. And lots of them. Its easy for them to get a licence to perform and 'proper' jobs can be scarce so you will often walk down a street and come across a minion of hell, the little mermaid, julius caesar and the group of B-boys hanging out and having a cafe con leche in between performances. You see so many you don't even bat an eyelid anymore and nothing shocks you....... until I came across a new kid on the block yesterday. Jesus. Someone had dressed up as Jesus. (cleaned up Jesus by the way. Last Supper kind of Jesus, not bloody cross kind of Jesus) Now I would like to think I'm pretty open minded but is it just me or is this going a bit too far? Since when has the big man upstairs been a novelty act? Is he now availible to hire out for weddings and bahmitzfahs? Have I missed something? Halloween is coming up, should I be expecting to see a whole lot of Jesus' running around? (with their girlfriends coming as Mary) I know they are devout catholics here but are they really that crazy about him? I've never seen his picture on the cover of 'Hola!' magazine. Plus, who really wants to have their picture taken with Jesus? Its not like you could even try and fool your friends into thinking it was the real deal. What would Jesus be doing busking? Things are a little slow in heaven at the moment and his hours have been cut back so he needs to make some extra cash?Maybe it is just a flash in the pan novelty. A sort of delayed Da Vinci Code gimmick that trickled down to the Catalunian street performers. Maybe in a few weeks he will be gone and will be replaced with Darth Vader, or maybe Clive Owen will be there instead. I'm just hoping that the next time I go down that street that he hasn't seen Wolf Creek or something.......

the age of techmology

okay, so first I had my little (insert sarcasm here) group emails, then I got my flickr sorted so you could visualise my travels, now you can read all about my daily thoughts and commentaries on life. Ahhhh, I love this age of self indulgence.....