8 plus 1

After yesterdays blog, I was thinking about which big things I could confess up to that I didn't and that not many people knew about and there is one that, out of my circle of friends, only 1 person knows about. I've come a long way since then so its time to fess up and clear out those skeletons. And yes Evol, its to do with me 'volunteering' at the salvos all those years ago.

So before I started working in the wonderful world of resin, I was working for a large 'upmarket' department store in Melbourne. I was still relatively new to Melbourne and it was the first time I was living on my own (when I moved out in Sydney, I lived with my sister) I was finding it really hard going and felt myself barely keeping afloat on the surprisingly poor wages. A friend who also worked at said department store also found that she was struggling and after a few whispered meetings..... we decided to start embezzling money from the department store. At first we were careful and only took when we needed (you know, cause that makes it ok!) but because we were getting away with it, we kept going until we were stocking up our purses before a night out. I even remember the two of us taking ourselves to a well to do restaurant in Melbourne celebrating our genius. It seemed so easy and no one would have ever suspected us as we were two of the most respected and hardest working there.

A few months in a new girl started who was just looking to get caught. She would openly steal clothing and even took one of the security tag removers so she could go to other departments to load up. In short she wasn't careful and had the instore security circling our department like sharks which led them to checking the history of our register and noticing that there were innumerable refunds to the same two accounts. Two days after my birthday I was called up to HR and taken into the boardroom where instore security confronted me and kept me for questioning for 5 hours. At first I denied til I was blue in the face but the evidence was more than enough to convict me. During me questioning I heard that they had brought my partner in crime in as well who was screaming and causing a huge scene from what I could tell. After obviously terminating my contract, they called the police who arrested and handcuffed me and led me through the crowded ground floor cosmetics department, into, yes, the back of a paddy van parked in the middle of Bourke St Mall.
The police then detained me for another 6 hours and took the usual mug shots and finger prints and told me that I'd need to get myself a lawyer. Nearly a year passed which was one of the roughest of my life but it finally started to get better. I got a good job which turned into an amazing job, which then led me to start my own label and none of it would have happened unless I'd been fired.
I finally had to face my court date (which I told my current work was a 'doctors' appointment) and managed to get away without official conviction (which would have meant I couldn't have left the country for 8 years and i would be here) I had to pay all of the money back which I only just managed to do before I came here and I had 6 months of community service, which I told people was 'volunteer work'. You know whats really funny? I actually convinced myself that I was doing volunteer work and started bragging to people about how great it was to give something back! God, even I buy my own bullshit!

After I left, the rumours of the details of my departure were plentiful. From me stealing $50 000 to setting up some sort of designer black market where I was selling clothes half price. I actually remember seeing a few staff members from the department store come into my new work and be totally surprised at how well I was doing. I even remember seeing the old Store Manager on Chapel St who threw a smile my way.

Its strange to reread this blog and to some extent relive it. It was such a long time ago and I'm such a changed person because of it and I have to say, I'm grateful that it happened otherwise I'd probably still be stuck there 20 years later.

8 fabulous tid bits on yours truly

So Evol has tagged me in the latest of blogger games and I'm more than happy to divulge in some juicy gossip about, well, myself. Here are 8 things you may or may not know about Euro...

1. I actually had a twin brother who died a few days after birth. His name was Adam and to this day I still wonder what it would be like to have a male version of me running around.

2. In my previous life (i.e pre Melbourne) I was a drug addict. I had moved out of home when I was 16. One of my best friends died from a heroin overdose and decided that I needed to escape if I wanted to live a life without a bogan boyfriend and 12 babies.

3. (This is one that soyoungsopretty already knows but the rest of you don't) My last boyfriend in Melbourne just before I came here was a bisexual drag queen who worked (and still does!) at a cafe on Chapel St. He only told me after we had decided to be exclusive. My first question (as we lay there in bed) was 'So what songs do you perform?' Shirley Bassey was the response. We broke up 2 weeks later.4. I come from a 'well to do' family in China where there is a village named after us and a temple in our honour to pray for our familie's health and prosperity. I'm like, so totally a princess.

5. I once signed a group of friends and myself up for a talent show where we 'breaked' to Bart Simpsons 'Do the Bartman' In the middle of the performance I slipped and fell on my arse in front of 500 odd people. I have no shame.

6. As much as I pretend I don't take it seriously, I would love to make music full time. My vocal coach (a bitter old woman who was the poster child for those who can't do...) once told me that my voice would never be good enough to 'make it big' in the industry. 10 years on I'm now determined to prove her wrong.

7. I plan on having a fling with a woman at some point in my life. I figure you've got to try everything once and I'm curious to see what its like on the other side.

8. As you may have guessed, I can be somewhat of a list fascist. Love em. Love having things in order that I can prattle off at will. Its no surprise that I have my all time top 5 favorite films (When I was in China visiting the village, I tried to list my top one hundred favorite films but I had nothing to write on and kept forgetting the order) but I also have a secret list of top 5 films which includes both Waynes World 1 and 2, Spinal Tap, Empire Records and Milo and Otis. God I love a good talking animal movie.

So there you have it some shocking and maybe not so shocking revelations about Euro. Soyoungsopretty, your turn...

The Brown Note unleashed

So, the much anticipated SUNN O))) review is finally here, in all its freshly steaming glory. I needed a day to think over the show and really mull over the experience because witnessing that kind of intensity live always needs a bit of perspective for a good review. Plus I still felt really fucking out of it yesterday because i actually lost my hearing for a day so I needed to just chill out before I started reminiscing about it.
We showed up at Queen Elizabeth Hall to an unbelievably diverse crowd. I'm always surprised to find who is a Sunn fan. In the mammoth bar queues (God the English love a good orderly queue!) I started a conversation with a 67 year old man who had brought a lovely looking date (she had no idea what she was in for, the poor thing. Never heard of Sunn. Didn't really understand the kind of music they played, plus she was wearing a neckerchief for God's sake) and was close to shitting his pants prematurely at the mere thought of finally seeing them. It was a lovely night so we ended up hanging outside and having a couple of pints pre-show and missed most of support band, Chrome Hoof which was a shame because what I did see, I loved (think prog/punk with splashes of ESG, Sabbath and Pavement) They were all wrapped up in aluminium foil outfits and had two choreo dancers (a dream job I hope to fulfill one day) to go along with their two drum kits, two bases, a horn section and multiple guitars. As Chrome Hoof finished I turned around to find my beloved Jarvis Cocker sitting in the row behind me! As Chrome Hoof and their belongings filed off stage, the wall of amps started to get piled onto it and at just the sight of all that ampage (there were 10 amps hanging from the rafters as well) I was creaming my pants. I know its pretty bogan of me but there is something I just adore about experiencing music at that level. Its like there is no escape from it. You could have earplugs in and be standing outside but the sound vibrations are so intense that you still feel every pulsating guitar sound. And thats exactly how it was. SUNN O))) are an assault on all your senses but not in the same way that 'regular' metal is. Thrash and Death Metal are more of the recognisable fast and furiously stabbing guitar sounds that you are used to and that has you panting and sweaty by the first 15 minutes. Sunn play music so achingly slow and loud (in their well suited Gregorian-esque hooded robes) that its a slow build up of tension that gets you in the end. Plus their sets are like one huge hour and a half song where you may possibly void your bowels (which I'm happy to report neither of us did, although we did enjoy pointing out which notes could have and then watched the stream of people dashing off to the bog) Its hard to really put into words what a live SUNN O))) experience is like. Its so different from their studio albums and it brings your appreciation of the band to a whole new level. Its pure genious to make noise that is as intelligent and sophisticated as theirs and to see them create this magic in front of you is something else entirely. Every sound they make is hypnotic from the whine of a miced angle grinder, to the gutteral growls of the 'lead singer' to the softer lilting strains of the violin bow on an electric, trying to stand on its own amongst all this noise. As the show came to a close I looked around and saw that just like before, this gig had a huge affect on everyone and no-one would ever be the same again. You are now affected by music in a completely different way where you feel it, instead of hear it. To sum up, the show fucking rocked. All hail the lords, SUNN O)))! For a few images from the night, feast your eyes on this

KENYAN BABIES BABIES BABIES!

I look forward to being uncomfortably energetic

the smartest move?

I'm off to see intense drone metal band SUNN O))) tonight. I scored some freebies and in my attempts to impress the new boyfriend I gave him the other ticket. As I've mentioned in previous posts, SUNN O))) aim to get you to crap your pants. Was it the wisest idea to invite the new boyfriend to a gig where I may be laying some cable mid set?

whats her problem?

Shes just got a big chip on her shoulder

blogger hijinx, sparkly skulls and working the pumps

• So this weekend is shaping up to be a good one. Partly because the festivities started on Thursday with Steven when we had planned a catch up and a coffee, which turned into two, which turned into a lovely stroll through London, which obviously turned into an early drinking session. There is nothing more luxurious than drinking in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week. Steven led me to a cute little bar in Soho, where we settled in with a few pints of Kirin and happily peopled watched whilst simultaneously keeping our eyes on the very cute hobbit-esque barman (there is something so adorable about guys who could fit in your top pocket) Although my chances of scoring with the hobbit may have reduced somewhat when Steven, a few pints in asked 'If you'd want to fuck her?' (do you even remember that?!?) Before we knew it we were surrounded by the after work drinks crowd and a couple of decent looking Aussie boys had taken up residence at our table. I couldn't help but notice one kept giving me the eye (he's only human) Giving my best impersonation of coyness, I shyly smiled back and started a conversation. At this point Steven got the camera out and demanded an on screen pash (dear lord, have you looked at that footage yet?) at which point I think the evening started getting messy when we all had a discussion about the greatness of my boobs and about female genitalia (stop dry heaving evol) Before it got really out of hand we decided it was time to leave but not before a certain blogger had started to piss on a well lit street corner and be interupted mid-stream by the police telling him off. Good Times!



• I started a new job working for this cool bar (I've totally gone all Coyote Ugly) 5 minutes from where I live. I had my first shift last night and although it was really hard work I made some good tips (especially after I initiated the wet t-shirt competition) and got free food and booze, so whats not to like?



• I caught the new Damien Hirst exhibition. Lordy. Talk about being blinded by the light. The centrepiece of the show is the £50 million skull covered in flawless diamonds. Its in a completely blackened room with the exception of one spotlight above it and you really do feel its gravitational pull when you're in there. Other highlights were the shark in formaldehyde that had been split down the centre and placed in two seperate tanks that you could walk between and his series of paintings on the birth of his first child which is so out of his norm and were these emotionally charged pieces that I think has put him in a new light.

• Today its off to frollick down at Southbank and the launch of the renovated Royal Festival hall and a quick dim sum I think. Gawd, life's tough these days....

I'm in shambles, baby

I was recently discussing with SoYoungSoPretty how there has been a lack of celebrity spottings in my London existence. I thought that I would be spotting them left, right and centre (I once spent a week stalking Borough Market because Jude Law had been spotted there) but I really hadn't come across anyone worth blogging about..... until Thursday.

Thursdays at Spitalfields market is antique day, which I aways go to. I have a newly acquired obsession with taxidermy and this week I wanted to take some snaps of the amazing taxidermy stalls there (which will be a later post all about East London) I was browsing at my favorite when I saw the most stunning toad skin purse (with its head as the clasp. It was amazing) I picked it up and continued to walk around. I put it down for a mere second to take some snaps of a taxidermy display and Pete, effing, Dogherty came up behind me and picked it up. That bastard took my friggin purse and when I said to him that I was going to purchase it, he just gave me the biggest shrug his drug laden body could give and mumbled that I had put it down. The bastard then had the cheek to pick up one of the taxidermy peacocks I was admiring, tucked it under his arm, and took that as well! As if I didn't hate him enough!

and just where the fuck have you been?

So as I prepared to watch the Desperate Houswives finale I thought I'd watch the first installment of UK Big Brother to see who it would be that everyone would be talking about. It was an all female lineup to which they will be staggering the release of the males (for the slaughter by that stage) You had your usual celeb hangers on, your posh spice look alike, a couple of 60 year olds (one of which was this complete chav, thats bogan to all you Aussies, who lives near me in East London! I've seen her forraging around the charity bins near the buddhist centre) a pair of hyperactive barbie twins and a feral. All of whom I'm sure I'll bitch post about at a later date but the one that really got my goat was the resident "rock" (and I really do use that term loosely) chic who, when describing her favorite music genre said that she liked this new style of music taking over the UK at the moment called "Indie Music" I'm sorry, What???? New style of music? What the fuck have you been doing the last 15 years of your life you idiot?