mysterious trains and design nazis

So, I had my first week at work........ and I've made a HUGE mistake. I had a choice between a job that paid much higher (as in close to $30 000AUS more) and this job (in where I have to get a bar job as well because I can't actually afford to eat more than 1 meal a day, let alone actually go out anywhere) The higher paying job was still in retail and I was desperate to try and break out of it. This new job with the design studio seemed perfect. Yes a big part of it was studio manager admin but it meant that I got to still be in a creative environment whilst I was deciding what I was doing with myself here. Okay to be truthful another lure to this job was that my boss said she wanted to sponsor me (which will be impossible to get if I was working in retail) and if I ever want to live out my dream of opening that gallery/store in Berlin, it would be a whole lot easier (and not involve a wedding) if I had a British passport, which I could of course get in 4 years if I got sponsorship. So I took the pay cut. I thought I was taking the high road and doing the right thing. Sacrificing money for the greater career good. I had a window out of the retail world I loathe so much. My new boss lured me in with promises of pay reviews in a few months and possible trips to Nigeria with her and I fell for it. She said that she ran her company to nuture new designers fresh from college and help them get the real world experience that they needed. It sounded so great.

And then I actually started there.

I have been completely thrown in the deep end. Thrown into the middle of a pool of snide graphic designing sharks. It'll be ok, I thought. Its just because you don't know any of the clients and you actually have no idea as to what you are supposed to do because its a small company and you are the only secretary/p.a/studio manager/researcher. As soon as someone starts explaining what you need to be doing on a daily basis, you will be fine. You work loooong hours (no overtime OR time in lieu) but you will be getting a pay review in a few months right? Looks like I was wrong about that too. I am also in charge of the wages and I'm getting paid the same as the newest designer who has been there 8 months. The designer who has been there the longest is only getting paid £4000 more than I am. Turns out this tight arse likes to see herself as the nurturer for young designers and then sends them on their merry way after 2 years because she like to keep the wages as low as humanely possible. The other girls are only surviving because they either live at home or with their partners who help support them. What do I do? This will more than likely be my only possible chance of sponsorship and if I give up on it, well then that means that I have no choice but to come 'home' in a year, if not sooner. Plus unless I find someone from the EU to marry me, I can say goodbye to opening the store in Berlin. On the other hand, I can't live like this. I'm about to start work in a pub as well on the weekends because I have to plus I'm moving to a cheaper shittier sharehouse in a few weeks. I'll end up really hating London if I stay in this job but I'll be losing so much if I let it go. I feel so overwhelmed and I don't know what to do......

On a completely different note, I saw these two this morning wandering around the back streets of East Londn near my place looking so adorable and lost they completely reminded me of the cute Japanese couple in Mystery Train by Jim Jarmusch